Giving Up on Life or Giving Up on Smoking

The dilemma: Giving up on life or giving up on cigarettes

"Why give up on life?" I asked myself, as I listened quietly to a young woman in her mid-fifties. "There has to be a better answer!"

One of the most tragic scenarios that I witnessed recently, was that of this woman, who had been undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. She came and told me that she had decided not to resume her chemotherapy treatments, although she was aware that her doctors had recommended that she start her treatments again, immediately.

She knew that she had an aggressive form of breast cancer.

She stated, "I cannot stand going through this again."

I was stunned and wondered if she realized the seriousness of her decision.

I stood beside her and listened to her speak, knowing that this had to be an extremely difficult decision for her to make, particularly since she had children and grandchildren. I knew that there was nothing that I would be able to say or do, in order to make her change her mind.

She had been contacting me as a counselor, for some time, in order to discuss problems that she had encountered with respect to her general health and her previous chemotherapy treatments. She knew that I had previous experience in palliative care nursing. We openly discussed a number of different issues with respect to the resolution of her problems. She seemed to be responding in a very positive manner.

Suddenly, she came in one morning and I knew right away, that she had started smoking again.
Her jacket reeked of cigarette smoke. So did her breath. She quickly moved away from me and admitted that she was smoking again.

She immediately went outside to the designated area for smokers. She did the same thing more and more frequently that day and throughout the days that followed. Week after week went by and she was openly smoking, with her friends.

"Those are not true friends," I realized. But, did she?

I knew that she was dealing with two separate, health-related issues, both of a serious nature.

First, she was dealing with cancer. Secondly, she was contending with nicotine addiction. I wondered whether she realized that these were two separate issues.

Being a nurse, I knew that she needed to have help for both of them. At least some resolution could be attained, if she followed the guidance of her physicians.

This, to me, was not a hopeless scenario, as there were answers for both of these problems.

"There is always hope," I said to her, but she was no longer listening to my words. Her addiction had taken over. Gradually, she began to distance herself from everyone.

I was angry, but I knew that my anger was not going to resolve this either.

I asked myself the following questions:

Was this a masked form of depression?
Was discontinuing chemotherapy the right decision for her to make?
Was she intentionally committing suicide by starting to smoke again?
Did she have the right to take her own life?

Ultimately, there was the question of life and death, with regard to cancer. Secondly, there was the issue of nicotine addiction.

My question to the reader is whether or not her decision was appropriate, under the circumstances.

Was she really just giving up on life?

Should she have continued her chemotherapy treatments?

Should she have sought addiction counseling and given up smoking?

Personally, I don't think that anyone should ever give up on life.

Smoking is harmful to a person's health and it is an addiction. To smoke or not to smoke, is a matter of personal choice. A smoker is the only one who can make that decision. Harming oneself by taking a greater risk, is never the right answer.

God's Healing Light

The healing power of light

“Don't you ever let your shadow graze my doorstep ever again!"

A number of years ago, I ran into conflict with another person, who will remain without a name. I was startled and stunned by the comment that had been thrown at me so unexpectedly, particularly since I had recently grown to respect and to love this person.

In thinking about it later, I realized that this was probably a delayed grief reaction, as we had both just attended a graveside funeral, held on a bright, cool autumn day, about mid-morning.

I did not understand the significance of this statement, until a later date, when I had some photos from the funeral developed. Then, I began to understand what had triggered this unexpected outburst of anger.

In the photos, with the direction of the lighting, coming from behind all of those who were in attendance, I could see each of the shadows of the people present at the funeral.

Every shadow was very long in the photograph, but to me, the shadows seemed to be quite appropriate for the power of the morning sun light, at that time. My shadow was long too, but not unusually long, in comparison to the other shadows. Every single person had a shadow, including the one from whom the adverse comment had arisen.

I had never paid much attention to light and shadows in pictures, before this time.

I remembered how hurt and stunned, I had been by the words thrown at me. After all, was I not grieving too?

Not long after, I was watching the flickering shadow on a candle and began to realize that unless there was a light of some kind, there could be no shadow.

Obviously, at the funeral, I had been standing in the light or the person who had made the comment, would not have seen my shadow.

In attempting to understand this, I looked at what had happened seriously and knew that often, grief reactions can take on unusual forms of expression. Many people are overwhelmed by their feeling of loss and hurt others, knowingly or unknowingly, before, during or after funerals.

I soon realized that this had been an abrupt expression of the loss, anger and grief that this person had experienced, at that time.

In this kind of a scenario, where numerous people are grieving, now what I suggest as a counselor, is that they pray for the Comforter, because God has promised to send His Comforter to each one of us.

Most of us do not know enough to pray that prayer and thus, may tend to hit out at others, in times of grief.

The healing power of the light is truly wonderful and it is something that we really do not understand in total.

We also know that when we walk in truth, as Christians, we will also walk in the healing light that God gives to us.

Yes, others will see our shadows too, particularly if the light is so bright that it almost blinds their vision. That can be a frightening experience for people and can cause them or even one person to focus purely on the shadow that is being generated, at that moment in time. Instead of seeing the light in terms of healing or being a comfort, those people or that person, may see only the darkness of their own fear and despair.

The bottom line in all of this is "Do not fear the light." But, do not fear the shadows either.

The healing power of the light can erase all of life's shadows and be a comfort to those who are grieving. We will all grieve at one time or another for someone we love. Let us always seek to be a comforter to one another.

Creating a Lasting Message Through Artwork

The dimino point: From convergence to divergence

The dimino point refers to the point at which convergence changes to divergence, or vice versa, ie. divergence changes to convergence.

Let me explain this a different way.

While teaching my brothers and sisters and I to draw, our mother often spoke about how to use the vantage point, in order to obtain the proper perspective, on what we were attempting to draw.

Having come from the prairies, where there were miles and miles of flat land, she said that the vantage point could be found, if you looked at a row of telephone poles in the distance. They gradually appear to get smaller and smaller, until they finally, disappear into the horizon.

She would draw two straight lines from the tops of the poles to a designated spot on the distant imaginary horizon. That is the point which she referred to as the vantage point.

I always used to marvel at my mother's perspective in her drawings.

Using a vantage point, everything that she drew, would be put into a proper relationship, in terms of size and placement in the artwork.

I never got adept at using the vantage point to draw, although I did understand what she was showing us.

Regarding this, from my own way of seeing things or my personal perspective, I could see the vantage point, as a place where the converging lines ended, but this seemed to be more in terms of perceiving a blank wall, into which everything disappeared.

I had a startling experience a number of years ago, when I was on the Port Mann Bridge in British Columbia.

Driving over the long, curved bridge from one side to the other, I was suddenly, confronted with that same kind of a blank wall experience, but in a different way. I panicked momentarily when I was halfway across the bridge, as it appeared to me that I had reached the end. 
.
This was only a momentary phenomenon, of course, as the bridge extended the rest of the way across the body of water. Thus, I continued safely across it to the other side.

I came to understand at that time, how a transition from convergence to divergence actually had a virtual point of some kind, where something ended and something else started or emerged.

I will refer to this as the dimino point.

As soon as I got past that dimino point, of course, I could see the rest of the bridge.

Why is this important?

The vantage point appears to some extent to display the end of whatever is being portrayed, as two lines converge. What we cannot or do not see, is what diverges from that point. We see the convergence, but not the divergence. Nor are we aware of the exact point of emergence to any great extent.

Perhaps some of the early explorers comprehended that same kind of a phenomenon when they felt that they might fall off the edge of the earth, not realizing that it was actually round.

When they reached what they had previously considered to be the edge, so to speak, they must have been amazed to see that there was no end in sight, at all. It was merely the divergence of another realm hitherto unseen.

In terms of our own life experience, I think that we go through the vantage point, but more as a dimino point, as what is formerly not visible or unseen, becomes visible and can be seen. What is unknown, becomes known. What is unfathomed becomes fathomed. The non-existent becomes existent and it stands the test of time. It is real.

I can ride the wings of timeAnd test the sands of sea;

What I don't comprehend,
The full totality.

The dimino point exposes one to the beyond of the vantage point. It is like two lines converging and then, diverging or vice versa. The dimino point is the point of emergence of the one from the other.

There are many practical applications for this in respect to artwork, but also in terms of other sciences. Somehow, we need to be able to see beyond the vantage point and those who can do so are gifted.

If we cannot see beyond the vantage point, to some extent, we may be forever destined to hit our heads against a blank wall of nothingness or to fall off the ends of the earth, so to speak.

Consider the dimino point as being the point at which convergence emerges into divergence, or vice versa. 

How much further all of our horizons can be extended, when we take all of this into consideration.

HIV/AIDS Epidemic Issues and Concerns

Increasing concern: AIDS/HIV 1972-2008 AD

My first encounter with an AIDS patient was in the year 1972, when I was in charge of a forty-seven bed pediatric unit, in a relatively new hospital wing. I listened silently, as several doctors discussed the nature of the illness of a young, male child. He was not expected to live long, because none of the medical treatments that they had prescribed for him seemed to be effective.

In fact, the child was becoming worse day by day. No one seemed to know the actual cause of his illness and it appeared that no one knew how to treat him effectively. What the doctors did know was that the child's immune system was not responding to the medications that they had given him. They had made various attempts to seek advice from other, well known physicians, but nothing that they had recommended seemed to be working.

I was stunned, as I began to realize the serious nature of what the doctors where stating, with such hushed voices.

Not long after that, I became aware that more children were coming into the hospital diagnosed with auto-

immune deficiency, as well.

My next encounter with AIDS, was approximately ten years later, when I attended as series of seminars in Florida. By then, it was becoming known by doctors all around the world, that AIDS was becoming more and more of a global concern. There was still no treatment for the illness. The doctors who attended these seminars came from the east and west, north and south. All of them agreed on the fact that the causes of AIDS were becoming increasingly apparent, but nothing was definite yet, in terms of treatment or a cure.

What was causing HIV/AIDS?

First, there was the transfusion factor. The second factor was the reality that  doctors from all over the world, were over-prescribing medication. The third factor involved sexual activity, without proper protection.

All three of these causes appeared to be contributing to the spread of the illness known as AIDS. They had one thing in common and that was the reality that they were causing the immune system of the human body to shut down. When the immune system does not respond, AIDS was going to be the inevitable result.

I was stunned, alarmed and concerned because people everywhere were told that there was no cause for alarm. Supposedly, AIDS was not contagious, or spread by kissing, hand contact, sneezing or coughing. People where being advised to live their lives as they normally would and not to be concerned about the possibility of a global epidemic or pandemic.

Finding some way to trigger the immune system to respond, became one focus of the seminars. How could this be treated?

One of the classic examples of an immune system response was what happened when cowpox was used in the immunization for smallpox. The human body's immune system would respond in a positive way, when a person was vaccinated with cowpox vaccine. This would give the person protection from smallpox. 

Everyone felt that there had to be other ways that the immune system could be triggered to respond to the AIDS virus.

Now, in the year 2008, it has become increasingly apparent that the AIDS virus is not one that has been contained.

We have watched scenarios where there are hundreds of babies born to deceased parents who died of AIDS, even in North America. In Africa alone, there are more cases of AIDS than anyone can count. These are estimated to be in the millions. Every country in the world has been affected to some degree.

It is not as if the population of the world is unaware of the illness, or as if attempts have not been made on a global level, to contain the AIDS virus. Increasing numbers of benefits are held annually to try to raise research money for this cause. There are some treatments which appear to be working, at least to some extent.

The question remains, "Has the answer been found?"

To this timely question, one must reply, "Not yet, even though it appears that there are major advances have been made in terms of medical research."

Is there another answer?

I Heard A Sigh

I heard a sigh upon the wind,
"Yes, God is good, but man has sinned."

"Forgive all man," was my reply
And then I heard another sigh.

"Cry out for children everywhere,
Those lost, alone, in deep despair."

The wind, it sighed; it knew I heard,
As if delivered was the word.

Another wind, another day,
The sigh for children seems to stay.

The sigh for love upon the wind;
The sigh to say, "All man has sinned."

The sigh to plead but for God's grace,
In ev'ry era, time and place;

The sigh for children, young and old.
Those hurt and hungry, in the cold.
The sigh for peace and end to war;
The sigh goes on forever more.

The sighing wind will come and go
Lest we forget our love to show.

Planting Seeds: A Metaphor for Life

Grinning and greening: Planting as you go

The first time that I drove through the prairies was in January, in the middle of a violent snowstorm, on a very dark, cold and windy night. Icy snow swirled across the acres and acres of wheat fields that we passed, as we drove down the long, lonely highway. For miles, there was absolutely no sign of a light, a house or to my amazement, even a single tree. As daylight broke, we could see small shrubs here and there, but still no sign of any trees to speak of, along the highway.

My initial reaction was a question. "Why doesn't somebody plant some trees along the highway?"

Plant trees along the highway? On that distance of highway, it would be a major project! But, it might not be impossible. 

Think about this for a moment.

Years ago, Johnny Appleseed must have been chuckling, as he walked along, planting apple seeds mile after mile, all across the country. What a legacy he left for America.

He was grinning and greening, although he might not have used that particular terminology for what he was attempting to accomplish. Imagine his delight, when he heard reports of apple trees sprouting and apple orchards in blossom, at a later date.

If one thinks seriously about the number of seeds that we have access to, in our world today, it would appear that there is no reason why there could not be more trees, shrubs and plants, along each one of our prairie highways, roadways or pathways in North America.

Some one would have to make an effort to plant the seeds. Of course, some seeds that were planted would thrive and some would not grow, depending on the environment and nature.

Thousands of seeds grow in our immediate environment no matter where we live, but we do not see them or pay any attention to them. We may not even be aware of the inherent potential lying dormant within each one of those seeds.

Take a look at all of the seeds that come from only one maple tree or one lilac bush. Look at the thousands of seeds on evergreen trees. How many apple seeds, pear seeds and plum pits do we just throw away? 

How many seeds can one find on flowering shrubs?

We tend to think that what we have to plant is seedlings or baby trees, shrubs and plants, when what we could be doing is dropping seeds along the way, everywhere we go in our travels and then letting nature do its own thing.

Planting as you go sounds like a good idea. Anyone could do that, even you.

Think seriously about it, as you and your family might enjoy trying this grinning and greening project, just for fun.

Collect seeds from trees, shrubs and plants that you see growing in your own yard or the area in which you live, as you are out and about. When you are traveling this summer, drop those seeds somewhere along the way, wherever you happen to be.

Now you are grinning and greening, at the same time.

You can easily let the seeds fly in the wind, wherever you go or when you stop somewhere, drop the seeds into areas that are low lying or moist, like streams or swamps. You don't need to do anything else. Just move along in your travels and chuckle knowing that you are doing something good for others and for the environment.

Who knows what you will find the next time you travel that way?

Grinning and greening can be fun. Planting as you go can bring about new life everywhere. After all, planting is a metaphor for life.

The Effects of Aging on the Over Fifties

Over the hill? Were you born in or prior to 1958?

Now you are really going to experience the effects of aging or are you?

There is definitely a lot of fear and concern about becoming fifty. Imagine being fifty years old! What about the effects of aging after fifty?

For some people, turning fifty proves to be a wonderful experience. A lot of people see this as having reached a milestone, in their lives. A goal has been achieved.

Others perceive this, as a major turning point in their lives or as a time when something important has been accomplished. It is a time of celebration for them.

Yet others may feel like becoming fifty is the end of the road or the beginning of the slippery slope to old age. It is a time of fear, anger, suspicion and depression, with a foreboding of illness or pending gloom and doom.

There is not a lot of difference between being forty nine and becoming fifty. Being forty and becoming fifty, did not bring about a lot of change; neither does the fifty to sixty transition. If anything, the changes are gradual, almost imperceptible.

Aging is a natural process that happens to everyone.

It would appear that if your parents or grandparents perceived the age of fifty one way, then you will have the same way of thinking about it. Remember though, that it in previous generations that may have been a time of severe stress and anxiety. There may have been difficult circumstances for them to contend with, as well. Both of these factors would have colored their thinking, at least to some extent. Don't let that color your thinking too. 

Some will argue that once you are over fifty, you are over the hill, so to speak. Is that really true?

There is no hill there, other than the one in a person's imagination. That one might actually be a mountain. It could be a mole hill.

In the year 2008, turning fifty is not a major concern, like it was fifty years ago.

The life span of human beings has been extended since that time. Health care has improved immensely. Life is easier for many people now, because of new technological advances. Change, for the most part, has been for the better, in terms of people getting older, as well as with respect to them living longer and healthier lives.

When you think about your age and aging, take into consideration all of the other factors. Remember that your age is determined, to a large extent by your own attitude. What you do and what you say, reflects you and your attitude, possibly your ancestor's attitude, not just your age. You can be fifty and think like you are fifteen or be fifty and think like you are ninety.

Let me tell you a true story.

How well I remember a couple of men who came into the doctor's office, where I was working as a nurse, many years ago.

The first man who came in was so sad, depressed and despondent, that I almost felt like crying with him.

"How old I am!" he said sadly. His head hung low. He was very unkempt and badly in need of a shave, haircut and a new wardrobe. He seemed almost as old as his brown leather boots. He reeked of cigarette smoke.

"How old are you?" I asked, fearing the worst. He looked like he was going to cry.

"Sixty five," he said sadly. He sat there silently and did not say another word.

The next patient bounced into the room and said, "How young I am!" He was smiling, full of life, waving his arms in the air. He was so chipper that he was almost dancing. This man was clean cut and very well dressed. He wore a wonderful smile on his face.

Pleasantly surprised, I asked him how old he was. "I am sixty five," he said with a big grin.

"Now I qualify for my old age pension!" he said excitedly. "We are having a party tonight to celebrate!"

The difference between the two men was astonishing.

So when you see yourself turning fifty or sixty five or even older and possibly subject to the effects of aging, remember these two men. You may have aged but how you have aged is more important. Attitude is everything.

How to Go Green on the Farm

Go green like yesteryear: Ten greening tips for farmers

Looking back for a moment, at my grandfather's farm, it appears that at least ten greening tips can be discovered, by examining what he did so successfully, with respect to farming practices.

Free Range Cattle:

The dairy herd was assigned certain designated areas, on the farm. As the acreage was quite large, the thirty head of cattle had plenty of room to graze. During the day, they would be allowed to roam freely, through a large well-treed, fenced area that had good water. In the evening, they would be brought to the barn for milking. At times, they would be directed to specific fields and allowed to spend their time eating the grass or resting in the pasture. Those fields, after having been fertilized naturally, would be plowed under and used for specific crops. Thus, there was both cattle and crop rotation.

Clean Water:

At the back of the farm, there was a large pond which contained a few fish. The cattle were allowed into that fenced off area and the grass came to be fertilized naturally there, too. On one side of the farm, there was running water in a creek. At times, the cattle would be allowed to graze in that field and wade through the water. As a result, the cattle were clean and content.

Fertilizer:

The fertilizer from the barn was spread over the fields, where specific crops like corn, wheat and oats were to be grown. It was used in the garden. There was no commercial fertilizer on the farm. At that time, that was almost unheard of, in terms of farming.

Composting:

Everything that had to be disposed of was composted, if at all possible. This included all of the kitchen and garden greens that could not be eaten, dried or canned for use, at a later date. Even the egg shells from the eggs laid by the free roaming chickens, went into the garden. In the garden, things like the rhubarb leaves were composted right under the rhubarb plants.

Clover:

Clover was one of my grandfather's favorite crops, partly because of the high nitrogen content, but because the cattle thrived on it. Clover fields have a marvelous scent.

(We loved to hunt for four leaf clovers and found quite a few.)

Horses:

Our grandfather had a team of work horses, so the tractor that he could have used, was parked in the shed. The horses only needed food and water, not fuel. They contributed to the natural fertilizer used on the farm.

Straw:

The same kind of straw used in the barn for the cattle, was placed between the long rows of potatoes and other vegetables, in the garden. Straw was put between the rows of raspberry bushes and strawberries to keep the weeds down. The straw served as a natural compost and was plowed under when the growing season was over.

Walking:

Walking was a natural life style, even though my grandfather did own a car. If possible, where anyone needed or wanted to go, he or she walked. We loved walking.

Food:

Everything grown in the garden could be eaten on the farm, sold or given to others. Very little food was purchased from the store, which was about four miles away or from the larger stores in the city, approximately thirty miles to the east. All of the flour, oatmeal, meat, cheese, butter and eggs, were from the farm. (Guess who learned how to churn butter.)

Seeds:

Seeds were important to my grandfather. For him, every seed held some potential, in terms of the future. Whatever could be planted from the seeds that he had harvested and dried, was planted. Little seedlings that grew out of those seeds were often transplanted. The seeds from the garden were saved for the next year's garden. The neighbors all loved to exchange their seeds.

While much of this seems out of our era, in actual reality, many of these greening tips are still valid.