Memoirs: Finding a Path

Finding a path is something else

Finding a path can be something else. At least, that is my own personal experience. I try to plan my life, but it seems that I always wind up going a different direction. Perhaps there is no such thing as finding a path? 

Maybe we're more likely to find a road or a highway? Perhaps it turns out more like a freeway? A free way? Now a free way might not be such a bad idea. A free way is free, right? That depends on how you interpret the word, freeway, I guess. Right. You know, I have not run into a free path yet. Have you? Free path meaning? A path without a road block or a detour of some kind, would be a free path to me.

Every path that I have ever taken in my life has something, somewhere that stops me from taking it.

That's the story of my life. 

Take the silly detours, for instance. It takes me forever and a day to get around them. These paths are not free, at all. There are too many road blocks, along the way for me.  There's other ways to think about free paths. You mean a path without cost? I have not run into one of those paths yet either. Every path has some way of taking its toll. See that toll booth over there? I have to pay the piper to use this path. Sometimes it's pay the pauper time, too? See that old guy over there? The pauper takes his fair share. I never object to paying the old guy though, as he always pays me back in some way. Sometimes, he shows up with a dozen fresh eggs for me or a head of cabbage.

There are many different paths in life that you can take, are there not? 

You know every time I find a different path in my life, that door closes, too. In fact, it slams shut right in my face. I can't go through that door, at least not today, it seems to say. But then a window opens somewhere, right? I get really tired of crawling through those silly, little windows. I am too old for that! I never did like the dusty windows with spiders, anyhow. Sometimes those spider webs are really gorgeous though, especially after it rains. The rain drops just sit there on the spider webs waiting for the spiders to take a sip. I watch them. They drink it all right up. 

Do you ever try to go back down the same paths? 

Not really. I always travel beyond my previous paths. But, as soon as I get two or three steps down a new path, I have to back up at least one or two steps. It happens every time. It is like I am trying to do some kind of a silly dance, backwards and forwards. I guess life is like that sometimes, right? But dancing is kind of fun, don't you think? It is, but it sure would be a lot more fun, if I could find a good partner to dance down the path of life with. You found one yet? Mark my words! It sure is not an easy thing to do, especially when you get to be my age. You know how to jitterbug? At your age you could be finding new paths, don't you think? Maybe learn some new dances? With all of your years of experience and wisdom, you should know how to do that by now.

I keep on trying to find new paths, but it seems that I cannot find one that really gets me where I want to go. My paths always seem to take me some where else. Where do you want to go? I don't know. Maybe my problem in life, is the fact that I still don't know where I want to go, even after all of these years. Sometimes I think that I know, but not always. Why not just take those paths? The paths that I have to take are always full of pitfalls and obstacles, like rocks that I have to climb over or huge mud holes that I have to wade through. My path usually winds up more like an endurance test than anything else. Where are all of these paths anyhow?

Well, to make a long story short, my life is kind of like a wilderness, so going up my paths is more like mountain climbing. Ever get to the top of the mountain? Always, but as fast I get there, or maybe I should say as soon as I get to the top of one mountain, I see another mountain top. That means find another path? 

Right, I want to get there too and so I always have to find another path. It never ends. You know, all of this sounds all right to me. I really think that I am some kind of an eclectic person by destiny, whatever that is.

You know some people make up their minds to do something in their lives and they never do anything else. Every time I think that I have found that path in my life, it has some kind of a branch that leads me off in a totally, different direction. 

Hmm, maybe you need to make a path map? I tried that too, but I always lose the map. I generally wind up at the right destination at some time or another, but I always have to take another route to get there. 

Yes, finding a path is something else. I decided that a long time ago. Try to find a path and you will more than likely find something else.