Giving Up on Life or Giving Up on Smoking

The dilemma: Giving up on life or giving up on cigarettes

"Why give up on life?" I asked myself, as I listened quietly to a young woman in her mid-fifties. "There has to be a better answer!"

One of the most tragic scenarios that I witnessed recently, was that of this woman, who had been undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. She came and told me that she had decided not to resume her chemotherapy treatments, although she was aware that her doctors had recommended that she start her treatments again, immediately.

She knew that she had an aggressive form of breast cancer.

She stated, "I cannot stand going through this again."

I was stunned and wondered if she realized the seriousness of her decision.

I stood beside her and listened to her speak, knowing that this had to be an extremely difficult decision for her to make, particularly since she had children and grandchildren. I knew that there was nothing that I would be able to say or do, in order to make her change her mind.

She had been contacting me as a counselor, for some time, in order to discuss problems that she had encountered with respect to her general health and her previous chemotherapy treatments. She knew that I had previous experience in palliative care nursing. We openly discussed a number of different issues with respect to the resolution of her problems. She seemed to be responding in a very positive manner.

Suddenly, she came in one morning and I knew right away, that she had started smoking again.
Her jacket reeked of cigarette smoke. So did her breath. She quickly moved away from me and admitted that she was smoking again.

She immediately went outside to the designated area for smokers. She did the same thing more and more frequently that day and throughout the days that followed. Week after week went by and she was openly smoking, with her friends.

"Those are not true friends," I realized. But, did she?

I knew that she was dealing with two separate, health-related issues, both of a serious nature.

First, she was dealing with cancer. Secondly, she was contending with nicotine addiction. I wondered whether she realized that these were two separate issues.

Being a nurse, I knew that she needed to have help for both of them. At least some resolution could be attained, if she followed the guidance of her physicians.

This, to me, was not a hopeless scenario, as there were answers for both of these problems.

"There is always hope," I said to her, but she was no longer listening to my words. Her addiction had taken over. Gradually, she began to distance herself from everyone.

I was angry, but I knew that my anger was not going to resolve this either.

I asked myself the following questions:

Was this a masked form of depression?
Was discontinuing chemotherapy the right decision for her to make?
Was she intentionally committing suicide by starting to smoke again?
Did she have the right to take her own life?

Ultimately, there was the question of life and death, with regard to cancer. Secondly, there was the issue of nicotine addiction.

My question to the reader is whether or not her decision was appropriate, under the circumstances.

Was she really just giving up on life?

Should she have continued her chemotherapy treatments?

Should she have sought addiction counseling and given up smoking?

Personally, I don't think that anyone should ever give up on life.

Smoking is harmful to a person's health and it is an addiction. To smoke or not to smoke, is a matter of personal choice. A smoker is the only one who can make that decision. Harming oneself by taking a greater risk, is never the right answer.